well well... so many things happened since i last posted...
that other day after my last post Chef offered me to move in with him, he asked me if it would bother me to see him with other women if i was living with him as a roomie, asked me to think bout it, i have been for a while(think bout it that is) havent given him an answer yet, i like the idea of living with him but i am not sure if its such a good idea as i dont know how i'd react to seeing him with others as till now i just avoided thinking bout it and as i know he does have other women in his life just that as long as it wasnt infront of me i could deal with it just fine, besides there is the wholw deal with my Princess and his dog which i'm not too sure would be that great, i mean i know that they could learn to play nice but i fear the havock they are going to create in the process, besides i dont want to lose my own place and be dependent on him especially if things go wrong and i get hurt on the way dont think i'd want to be here and have nowhere to go if i see that i cant handle it. i think there is a greater risk of getting in over my head as there is a great risk of me getting hurt, so far i know i am involved with Chef but i'm not in-love with him which is a good thing in my books as i know i would be hurt if i was. i need to know i have a place of my own to go too if things get too much on me i need a place of my own to be alone with myself, i need to feel and be independent in my own right. i need this for myself. and still i feel flattered that he offered me the place by his side and havebt offered that same place to his other Alfa female.. i'm still debating with myself on the matter i can see the good points and the bad ones and still not sure what to do, dont know if my feelings towards him might change if i'll live under his roof, at the moment i do spent alot of my free time with him but as i dont have that much free time with work and school which is going to be over soonif it might change things for me in way of maybe falling for him which i think is going to jeprodise this comfortable feeling and my hopes for my future i know he can help me go further and i also know that he is a lesson in life that is preparing me for somthing greater in my future some amazing and intense thing i can only glimps at now but know for sure that is waiting for me to be ready for.. i know where i want to be later in life and i know i can do it i know that i will do my all to make my dream come true and that in 3-5 years i wont be here anymore but somewhere in europe building my dream and making it into a reality.

enough bla for now, i've been to a job interview last night and hopefully i'll change jobs soon, and work in the nighborhood, it would do me good i know getting to know the people here better and and getting my self knowen for what i am and who i am and what i do, make new friends and not be so dependent on Chef for comfort, it might help that other fron i'm dealing with.
sat with Simpson yestreday and made my first draft for a buissnes card which was awasome, still needs some fine tuening but seing it take shape was good for me as i can see my future taking a more tangiable shape. this is all for now, i'll come back with more news as they come.

thank Bastt for small mercys..

coments on my last post and more..

read my last post after a while and it sounds realy lame, i dont think i'm in that place anymore, ithink i understand better now then i did then how i feel bout it all and i dont have the same wishfull thinking i did before, i feel better about my realationship with Chef and what is on offer i dont wish for more exclusivityas i did then as i realised i'll be banging my head against a brick wall and might even ruin a perfectly working realtion.. he is what he is and i know that as long as i dont fall for him i'll be fine with it, it hasnt happened yet which is a good thing as i know myself well enough by now to know that the first month is usalythe time it takes me and i'm not i am though really enjoying myself with him he is alot of fun to be with i am dealing well with the other woman in his life and we are kind of friends in some way.. i try not to jam sticks in my own wheels as there is no point in it i enjoy what i have with him as it is and i dont try to change him, i give him his space and enjoy our time together out sex life is introducing me to new ideas and new frontiers and those are always wellcome, i learn with him new things that i had no one before to teach me and in a wayi think the our sexual personalties are part of the reason i can handel these new ideas of no exclusivity better i belive him to be a lesson to preperme for something greater than i had before may it be love or other succsess that are still ahead of me. i belive that i am now beging to sprout my first feathers on my way to build my ever so colorfull wings i know that he would be there for me when i need him most as i wuld be there for him i see myself evolve and progress since i met him and try and avoid the little voicein my head that trys tocomlicate things by regressing to the things he knows and is more comfortable with cause it just doesnt know anybetter, and is afraid of change i trust Chef to know how far to go with me and when he can push me further even though sometimes it scares me to go to those places i've never been too before as i know i can always ask and talkabout the things that scare me and use them to move further and be even stronger then i was before, i am feeling better bout myslef now then i ever did before. one of the better things with im is he always makes me feel safe with him, i can always come to him with any truble or issue and we could talk it over and i'll feel better afterwards..

and now to other news of my life... school is going realy good had somehard time after the holidays in finding my way back to working on all my projects but i found my thread of creation and its going very well.. i've set my self some goals as to what i want done with the rest of the year. first of all is to finish school with out having to much hate going on between me and my design teacher, then there is the goal of starting my new tattoo this summer hopfully through july and then come october i want to be in amsterdam for my darling Elvie is going to make me an auntie...!!!! so i promised her i'll be there to get drunk with her like old times at the cave drinking bosswandlings...
my job sucks still but might change soon as this morning i met i girl coustumer from work at her work which is just next door to home and they are looking for ppl.. so shes going to put in a good word for me and i might be changing jobs againwhich would be a blast as i treid nailing that job in the past but was turned down by someone i know here is not in the know anymore so there is hope for something better just next to my place so yey me!!!
thats all for now, i'll try to keep updating as things move along without such long breaks in between...
may Bastt keep me safe and happy and keep on smiling at me as she has lately..

been a while...

yeah i've been away for a while..
been bussy with work and with my new place which does'nt have internet.. so whats been up since then? well alot actually... Princss moved to my place, and is doing well there.. me and Chef are sill seeing each other, another reason why u have'nt been around online.. its going good and i am really enjoying being with him, its chalanging at times but the dialoge with my deamones is still on and i am learning to except whats on offer the good with the bitts i havent yet fully hoped for but as it was all up front on the table, it is my choice if to stick around with it or not. and at the moment i still think its worth it even though at times its a bit more then i thought i'd bargaine for. it's the issue of exclussivety which is something i at time find hard to except. but it was never offerd so i have no claim to it..
deep dwon i do wish he would offer me that exclussivety but he isnt he never witheld it from me so time will tell, at times i find it really hard to handle but its doing me so much good to be with him that i will see what happens.
its his birthday this coming friday and i am proud to say that i think i found him the perfect gift in my small budget. i got him a really nice Rittzenhoff glass ashtray... it wasnt cheap and i think he would know to appriciat it... dont know what are the plans for his birthday but i hope it would'nt be too stressfull on my heart, its hard for me to share my man with another but as he is not mine i have too.. i hope to learn to manage and evolve with time and maybe even learn how to enjoy it even more, the idea is arousing in many ways and still i fear those moments of sharing bed with my alfa male with another female...time will tell...
i thought about this quit alot and i do belive Bastt sent him to me with alot of purposs as he is in many way what i asked for and you always need to remember the consequnsess of your wishes and that nothisg is as simple or easy as it seems like in your fantasys.. but it does teach you alot about your self and builds character... i know i can only grow from this and that if i'll open my self to th ideas of chang i will surprise my self with where i can go and what i can do.

Thank you Basst for sending me this amazing man with all the deamons have to say bout it.. i truley thank you!

new week, havent been home for almost a week also only slept in my place for the first time yesterday..
been good been rough been educational.
starting a new week of night shifts at work and taking my princess home with me today. hopefully she'll learn to forgive me with time for all this moving around. at least now i know she'll see more of me.
i hope to find a solution for having no internet at my place, maybe i could use Chefs..
anyways.. not much new has happened that i'm willing to talk bout as for now.

thank Bast for everything, the good the bad and all that is in between..

came back from my weekend with Chef.

new updates of my advantures over the long weekend spent mostly with Chef.
came over to his place thursdy night, we went to bed and just slept together which was alot of fun as i cant remember the last time i've done that. went to work in the morning for the last time at that place, after work mom joined me we went to have lunch and afterwards i called Chef who invited me over to see who he rearanged his whole place. so sent mom home and went over to Chef's place. had dinner with him at his sisters place no stress at all at meeting some of the close family at all (NOT) but i handeled it well aperantly got home after picking up some stuff at my place, thought we might be going out. then later we went out came home after i've been strugling all through the evening with my doubts and my wants and resisting from all the wrong reasons, so when we finaly got to bed realy late at night had to fight with some of my deamons again bursting into tear and getting all emotinal in bed from all kind of reasons not thinking i can handel him and what he asks of me in bed and out of it, bit of a rough night emotinaly. i knew i angerd him but wasnt sure how to word my regret and sort out the misunderstanding that caused it. we talked in bed later that day and worked things out, i understand him better now i enjoy his unbelivable sex apeal that i have never met befoe a man wo was so comfortable with himself and his sexuality that his true to himself in the most honest way ther can be. a real Alfa Male. a bit scary at first to be around but a complete turn on to be around, he pulls the primal thing out of me the conection is so difrent, the way your body reacts to this being next to you, it makes you react to things in ways you didnt realise you can.
i know this all sounds realy weird but i am excepting the change and embracing this primal attraction and with a big smile on my face.. good things will come out of it they are already here.
i know that if i would have met him a few years back i'd run awat screaming, there was a part of me that wanted to that still, but i think for the first time in a long while there are actuall debates btween the voices in my head thet are actually talking to each other not always agreeing but they are talking and that is way more than useal..

never got around to pack my stuff, or move them on the weekend like i planed and i havent seen my princess in a few days but she has adopted Mother as a serogat mother for now. i hope to move her on thursdy.
i need to go get my cute butt to tel aviv.
may Bastt bless us all!
thank Bastt for the courage and strength to deal with my deamons

signed my contract today...

so yeah signed my new contract today..
it almost fell through but we worked it out at the end.. so now i'm a proud renter of a place in florentine!!! should be meeting up with Chef tonight, yesterday didnt work out, he was busy til real late, called to apologise and said he would come pick me up later, then he was done a bit later then i hoped and was already asleep, so tonight later. its fun to think that i have key to my own place, i can go to even tough right now its empty and has nothing of mine to distinguish it from the rest of any other rentel place in tel aviv. soon it would have charcter and style minimal but there. new job starting sunday and and tomorow is my last day in my other job!! yey me!! i'm hoping simpson could help memove some stuff to on saturday including my dear Princess, hope she would get used to it soon enough..
not that she really has a choice.
now its just passing the time till something happens, like my phone ringing or something of the sort.. i realy do hate doing that, but i'll manage i'll sort out some stuff, wish it to take longer than it would and then see that not that much time passed yet and somewhere along the way i'll lose my paitnce and do something like go to tel aviv and tell myself i could wait in my place for my phone to ring as its better then waiting at home or something silly like that..
hate waiting for ppl to call or for things to happen, have no tolorance for sitting around and waiting for things to happen i rather create them myself.. at least then they happen, not always on the best of sides but at least i'm not stagnant or stuck depended on other ppls actions while waiting for them to realise that this is the most important thing ever and they are blind not to see it.. yeah total lack of proportions to go with it..

may Bastt bless my minimal tolarance feeling stuck with some understanding and proportions..

updates...

first of all i found a place, signing the contract tomorow.. its for real this time!!
small place by myself, not too expensive, has the bare nessecitys of a closet, a fridge a sofa bed, and just bout enough space to place me and Princess and my work bench. the land lord is cool and flexeable very helpfull too. the building is super cool with an intercom system and a beautyfull entrance. so i'm a happy cat! :))
hopeing to hear from Chef tonight as i hope we could meet and talk, i want to get this stuff off my chest i think i figured out some of my internal struggels. there is the part which is all bout sex hard and agresive, and the other which is the little girl who only wants to be held and comforted.. so she tends to wake up somewhere when the sex gets rough and start screaming.. so yeah its oh-so-fun being me...
but i have faith in Chef to understand and hopefully have faith in me to figure it out and still be around, i think we could be really good friends above all else the rest will be browny points...
so now i'm trying to figure out when and how to move my stuff and Princess over to the new place,..
maybe Ex could help me out with moving the things i need including Princess..i'll have to ask him and see if he's available, no game and all. means i dont have to worry too much bout how i get home on sunday night after work and all.. as i'll already have a place in tel aviv..
i'm happy bout it it feels good to know the search is over and that i got just bout what i wanted..
very minimal but for that price its fine.. anyway i dont think i'll be hosting people there anyway..
i'll have to figure out some more shelvings but the landlord is really cool i'm sure he could help me out with it.. now i'm all excited bout this whole move thing and am busy figuring out where to put what and what to do with this and that..
its going to be realy cool living in tel aviv!!
Bastt be blessed and shed some more magic in my life..
new nighbourhood new job a new friend.. what a way to start a better life..

yesterday...
called a guy bout a place and came out with a date with a Chef.. besides his place i saw another place in florentine close by his place that i really want should know more later today..
bout the Chef, i stayed the night which was rather terbulant night emotinaly for me, but i think we could be good friends, so we shall see where the wind blows, what he offers scares me, and its all good things on offer but i dont think i'm quit ready for them yet, somehow i think hes going to understand..
i'll call him tonight and we'll talk and see where it would take us..
got a wrong number call this morning and it was funny i think i'm going to hear from that guy again too..
Darling turened out to be all talk and no play, he probably hid his balls somewhere and now he cant find them anymore..
EX sent me mail with a writen apologie for all the latest news of his blog and how pathetic he has been, something friendly might still come out of it, you never know..at least he reconected with this world again.
Izidor and me are supposedly going to drink together thursday, and if your reading this be reminded..;) hopefully by tonight i'll have some more news hopefully bout that place i want.
till then may Bastt send me the strength to pull of this day with a smile on my face..

*had a cool drive home with a cool taxi driver he played Skunk Anannsi for me..

*been to a wedding party of sorts, was fun..

spoke to EX today havent told him nothing bout the blog, going to see him tomorow he's bringing P.Princess her crystals. must admit to going in there again and he knows i know or guesses as much.. so tough for him..
anyway i have second thoughts about that place i thought i found so i'm looking again.. hopefully this week something good will happen..
still got home work to be done but i think tomorow is a better day for home work. think i might get in bed soon with my new book which i cant seem to get enough of..

*the next day...*

i slept for hours, made up for all those lost hours spent in franzyed insperations.. soon i'll be bussy with home work and orgenizing shit around the house, shower and then hopefully i'll go check this place in florentine it might be good. spoke to Simpson he's "wife" is away so he's home alone with a friend, i might drop by there for a visit and maybe just maybe Darling will give me a call and i'll meet him too...
had one of those dreams last night, woke up hornier then ever.. sent Darling an explicit sms maybe he'll pick up on it and we shall get something going..


hopefully the last time i mention this.. after EX is coming over today with stuff for Princess and gives me money for her overly expensive food i'm going to go silent, i dont buy all this "i'm so misraeble with out you" bullshit anymore, i thought we could be friends before the time and i learned my lesson so i'll live him to his "misery" and manage my self and the needs of my gorgeous Princess by myself as i'll be making more money soon as it is..
and he can wallow in his self pity and idiocy of leting me see his blog..
ok thats it i'm done talking bout him..

so yeah home work.. i better get started if i want to do all this other stuff i have planed for today..
May Bastt bless my advantures and my aspiration for a place of my own..

found a place and more then what i bargained for 2

found a place!!!!!!! got me a place really excited bout it!!



but, i also found EX's blog... he has it attached to his mails and i was giving him some advise on a tattoo and got more for my money than i wanted.. it was like looking at a car accident.. you cant keep stop looking... hes getting more sex then me damn him so the whole thing was rather disgusting...i dont feel jealuos or anything like that it was just too much info.. yuck..



back to my place... i found the coolest place ever.
damn my discovery i need to go smoke, will tell more excitedly soon.. must get the bad taste out of my mouth.

Bastt save me from discoverys..

p.s. spoke to big cheese from AMPM hopefully i'll hear from them soon so i could change jobs..
Bastt save me this weekend.
i need it!

lost my post..

white nights, had two in a row now, last night insparation came by my door at half two in the morning..at least something good came out of it.
still no luck on the house front but i'm gearing up for full force and i'll find that speciall place thats been alluding me for the last two months.
part of yesterday's inspireing white night i have done so utterly stupid today i'm thoroghly pissed with myself especially as i have no clue how h fuck i did it.. tryed printing out my shorter men gray boxess post and somehow managed to erase half of the damn post...argh...
wrote the site an email trying to find a way to retrive the damn thing and finally did the smart thing of directing all posts to be mailed to my email after publishing...
so if anyone reading this has by any starnge reason has saved the first full version of that post PLEASE contact me on the coment pageas i dearly loved that post and really want it back...
May Bastt bless this request and return my lost post to me!!

tail of a homeless cat...

seen a place yesterday spoke to the guy on the phone, waited for him, when he finalyy showed up.. guess who it was? (Bastt taking the piss again..) the guy i dropped my number in his biker jacket a month ago in the tattoo place... yeah the joy of a small world... yeah so that was fun..
anyway so i considered that place for some wrong reasons for half a day and then soberd up and gave it up..
saw another 4 placess today, one of them might actually be good for me i just hope they liked me too.. and another one to see tomorow that sounds good even though its a touch expensive.. but i need to see what i get for it.. anyways..

so yeah no news from Toy Boy, well it was good while it lasted..
got to go back to work tomorow, damn it had fun not seeing that place for three days..

well i'm boring myself so good night wish me luck on my house hunt.. i might get lucky along the way.. ;)
may Bastt send me a bone(r) soon...

same shit diferent weekend..

i recived some poetry from EX tofday, kind of embarecing to read.. its so unlike him, and i know he hurting and all but that juat left me speechless, dont know how to respond to it so i'll avoid it for the mean time..
house hunt report: the one i was going to see today fell through so i'm going to see a difrent one maybe have more luck there even though its not an ideal location.. a bit too close to EX's place.. and a bit on the expensive side of life but we'll see, if this other girl from this other place acutally pick up the phone i might have another option..
i'm getting real tierd from this house hunt, Mother suggested keeping P.Princess for a while just so i can find something but i cant think of leaving her behind she should be with me where ever i go.i know it limits my search a bit but i know i'll find something eventually..i dont really care anymore where not really.. just to get out of here and have some change..
i seem to have gotten Mothers flue yey me so i can add that to my circle of fun!!

did half of my homework, maybe i'll find the strength to do the rest some time today too.. maybe when i get back from house hunt i'll have some more energy to do something productive, at least i did some catching up on my lack of sleep it was one good thing to be done this weekend.
still havent heard nothing from Toy Boy probably still in the army guess we'll see what happens next time he's around. could use some R&R time with a younge man probably just what the doctor ordered.. ;)

May Bastt bless my hunt for house and happiness..

after thoughts..

had rather a misrable day yesterday, after getting home early and only sleeping a few hours, long tiering day at work..had a low low time talking to Iron Man, had a leaking face and real down time that crept up on me, got a mail from Talanted Boy and it kinda downed on me: i have more friends who i'm in touch on a sort of regular basis in amsterdam right now then what i have in this shit hole..
now add that to the really small paycheck from febuary and my lack of succsess in finding a place, and you got one cruel circle of fun all round.. i think this whole Toy Boy thing was only a trigger for other things which is why i'm not sure how to treat it.. i dont have that much of a problem doing younger men it was just so sureal to happen the way it did, i mean after i sat with him and we started talking that we got to his age and i banged my head on the bar five times looked up and said to Bastt : you got to be fucking kidding me.. but no, she wasnt joking so i played along, i just hope next time she throws me a bone it would be an older bone.. he has my number and if he is smart he will call me and we could do it better this time.. i think i'm too old for this single matress empty room or the great out doors..

i need to make some changes i just dont know where to start, i dont want to change jobs till i know where i live and as i cant seem to find a place yet its all kind of on air and on hold but time is moving on and i want to be at the new job for pass over, and make more money, if i ever want to get my tattoo done i need a better paycheck..

everyone around me seem to be moving on and i feel like i'm stuck in a hole with lots of will but no means to get moving, i hate feeling stuck..
walking with Toy Boy to his friends place reminded me of what its like to actually have a life..
it was fun!
Iron Man said something true yestrday: you are a person who thrive on thrills to live happily and when you dont get them you wilt.. he had a point there.. hehe.. he also had a good point saying thank Bastt you dont do cocain or heroin as you would be a true addict.. i know what he means.. i asked him if it was just my memorey fooling me into believing things were easier in amsterdam or was it really like that.. he said the whole in your face attitude works wonders there but probably doesnt suit this place, and he has never been to israel.. i dont do it for attantion.. this is just who i am and it gets kinda lonely being the only colorfull person among all this gray.. i just wish to stick my foot in the door and create my new circle of friends anew... just to have a place of my own and some change...
yeah i think a change would be real good for me now...

may Bastt bless the changes i wish for..

Bastt is taking the piss out of me...

yesterday, went out for another purim party, difrent music difrent crowd, after almost giving up on men, i noticed a young guy looking over at me from the bar, after a few smiles i decided to take a short cut and went to sit by him..
we start talking and then i find out that Bastt thought it would be real funny to throw a YOUNG man at me.. the guy is only twenty...in the army, how sweet... so yeah i dont know what i think about it now, after getting home at 0700 hr but yeah beggers cant be choosers.. i need to have more time to think bout how i feel bout it all..

and Thank Bastt of the silly black humor...

bla bla bla

my purim sucked... still no luck on the home hunt.. still dry spell.
going to drown my sorrow in alcohol with some girlfriends tomorow maybe it would help.
i'm broke and horny and really boerd with it all, need some excitment.
long day tomorow need to wake up way to early. going to sleep.
if by any chance something realy intresting will actually happen i will share
may Bastt send me some sex on legs and a home to move into...

been to home work hell and back..

yeah those lovley design class home work... i just love them and that teacher..
good thing is i maneged to get most of it done, i painted the box and finished the jewll and tomoro i just need to saw them buttons and decorate the box..
showed Mother one of my first attampts at the jewll and recived the lovely remark attached to a sour face: "continue tomorow you dont have it now... " (me steaming out of my ears !!!!) she can be so infuriating... went out for a smoke and cooled down, went back to it and finished it, don't think its the best i ever made but i wasnt aiming at the best i think it works, i like it!
background: make a piece of jewllery for your favorite celebrity.. including box. i chose Christopher Walken who i think the world of.. someone who embraces his strangness and made it be his glory!
he is kind of a role model for me..
i made him a tie pin, from recycalled objects. it's difrent i think it works in a funky way. it's defintly not the best but it will have to do..
maybe even have the time to catch a movie tomorow.. met my new room mate he's cool hopefully the place will come next and yeah you know the rest its bloody boring!!
well this is it for tonight
Bastt bless us and may she send me sex soon!!!

after "tomorow!!!"

yesterday... was intresting in a all kind of manners:
A: i discoverd i realy do have horns i.e:i scare men, some not all..(i do belive there are men who wont be scared of me)
B: empty stumeck+beer+stoli crystal chasers= me drunk real fast..
C: throwing up in the toilet is never fun, that includes the second time too..
D: Mother thinks me being drunk is hilarious..
slept like a queen, hardly any headache in the morning.. and a real hunger for more, bring on the purim party!!!
going to dress up as a modern pirate. should be cool, maybe if i'll take my alcohol more slowly and modarately i'll last longer and might score too.. been without sex for too long, hope to cange that. hate this not getting any, its cramping my style. i also dont really get this thing of me not getting any, i dont think i try too hard i mean, i'm there and i'm looking for it but i seem to intimidate people or something. shouldn't really be hard for a girl about town not to get some, right?
well i have kind of high hopes but i dont think they are that mis led or something..

bout the house hunt: me and roomie went our seprate ways and now i am looking for something with someone i havent met yet but we should be seeing something tomorow, so i might have some good news tomorow.. i sure do hope so, as long as i dont know where i'm living i can't make any changes with work.. which means i'm still stuck with their bulshit pay and the rest of their crap. not that where i intend to start working is going to be hat much better but its still bout a 1000 nis more a month.. should make some difrence.. that and living in tel aviv ofcourse..

spoke to EX today he's planing a new tattoo, happy for him, miss being freinds with him he was always easy to talk to, wish he'll get over me so we could be friends again, selfish i know but true.

thank Bastt for purim parteys and the next days after party nights..

tomorow!!!

oh the fun!
going out drinking tomorow!!! realy excited about it, taking M with me and my potential Roomie, thought it would be a good idea to let him see me drunk before we rent a place together (still no lick there but soon i know it!), better safe than sorry! and we shall see who the cat will drag in... i might meet some other people there, left an open invetation on my site see who will pick up on it..

well i'm heading to sleep now long long day/night tomorow!!
storys will be told when i recover from the hangover.. :)
good night,
Bastt bless us all!

thank Bastt for pandora!

still home alone but at least i have Pandora to keep me company and open a new world of music.
verdict on the boyz place: not going to happen, which is probably for the best as the room offerd was tiny so never mind, everything that happens is for the best right?

maybe in a few minutes/hours i'll be responsiable and start working on my home work, i should realy i also think i have some ideas bout what to do with it but i'm playing lazy for now. was chating to EX on msn earlier, it was fun resambeld what it would be like to have him as my friend again, i kinda miss that but i know i need to give him all the time he needs to heal so maybe somewhere in the future we could be friends again.
i am realy looking farwards to wednsday by now i am dying for a drink and the company of other people around me, i need to have the company of others i am wilting here, EX thought i was moving back to tel aviv for the party life and stuff and he said i should get my prioritis straight, i understand where he's coming from besides him being hurt, and all, but he could always stick to himself, didnt need any distarction from the outside world he could stay at home for weeks without the need of outside unput. i can't handel that i need some outside attantion aswel. some input form outside some fresh air something. can't stand the solitude of this horid place its driving me mad!!
saw an option for a place in tel aviv need to call them see whats up maybe something good will come out of it.. by now i almost don't care anymore on the where bit, price is more impotrtant then anything else i just want to have a place out of here. i'm trying to be realistic bout it all and not succumb to my amazing world of fantasys..as colorfull and fun as it might be its not real..
Bastt save me from bordome...