Saturday, July 01, 2006

school's out for summer....

yeah its over school is over for summer...
not sure what to do with the time i have now.. presentations went really well!! the end of year exhibition is on the 24-07-06 and whoever is reading this and can make it is wellcome (especially you izzidore..)!!

on other matters i discoverd my wings.. and realized they have always been there i was just to afraid to deserve them but they at=re very much there and i am flaunting them where ever i go with a big genuine smile on my face..
it is so much fun being me now!! i realize how much i have grown since my introduction into Chefs privet autonomie.. i have so many more tools and insparation i am blooming into myself i am realising that now is all that matters that this big thing i knew was awaiting me "after" chef is already happaning i surprise myself by not flinching or feeling threatened by situations that earlier just thinking bout them made my stumeack cramp.. i sometimes still have the expectaition to flinch when faced with such a situation and its not there.. i feel secure and know my place in the house is safe no matter who is in bed with us. very liberating i must say.. i am at peace with myself, and life is good to and i am good to life! i enjoy talking to other ppl about where i am with the knoledge that even if they are still too frightened to take that leap of faith hearing that its posiable can give them hope..
i look back at things i wrote a few months ago like the "safe grey box ppl" and its amazing for me to see that i always had all the answers but was too busy preaching them then actually taking notice in how relavent tey are to me, and who i am. i am so much more freeier now then i was before and ish a "Cheff expiriance " to every women and men i know who struggle with them selvs and thier sexuality.. it is a scary step but it is so satisfying to know that you are so much more then you allow yourself to be too afraid to be yourself as what would ppl say and why would you deserve to be happy? i wear my crown proudly and walk tall taller then i have ever did and i know that my evolution is far from over there is so much more to learn and expiriance... its really exciting!!

my tattoo is taking form as a symbole of this change: an image of me as a strong femnine woman who doesn't need any masks to hide behind a proud human with glorios shining wings... me!!

Bast and me are better friend now i dont feel the need to hide behind her any more we are walking together as equeals...
i thank Her still

2 comments:

IsidoreDeKass said...

Life never cease to surprise isn't it?, see you're post at start and them now, wonderful...

red-headed-cat said...

i am still waiting to hear from you.. all those drinking invations...
call me..