Friday, January 19, 2007

tea and cake kindda suck..

so yeah i met someone new and exciting and i think my lesson to learn here to start from is patienc..
it's hard and anoying most of the time but as i do think he's worth it i'm grinding my teeth and pulling through somehow, got me creative all this holding back thing got me making a whole brand new chainmail braclet yesterday while grinding my teeth not picking up the phone as not freak him out, i belive he's really worth it so i'm doing my best. that is also the reason i'm not going to share so much info about him at least not yet as he is kind of shy and doesnt feel to comfortable with it, so all you avid readers of mine(ha!) will have to wait and see and hope to godds like me i wont fuck it up..

on the updating buissness as i just stoped myself from sharing anymore info concerning my new thing..
its been almost a year since i started writing this blog and so much has happened this year its kind of exciting and dramatic in many ways.. i have been going on some wild roler coastr of evolution with myself i seem to have reached so many insights an revelations on what and why i tic a certin way compared to others on how much progress i have made and how much more i still have to learn its scary and exciting just like how i feel bout this new thing..
iron man has left for another of his great travels in the worst time for me(only kidding dear just read your mail box and you could grin back at you your screen saying bitch ass..!) anyway so i am heading in the right direction and i must addmit with some trepedition that the intense new thing i wished my self is just around the corner.. new thing guy when meeting him and spending some time with him seemed like someone was reading over my shoulder when i made a silly little list of what i wanted to find in my next guy i meet and he fits the bil in so many ways its frightning.. guess my sacrafice for making it work will be learning to hold back and being patint and a potential for a siriusly broken heart... yeah i know but i guess that is one of the ways to learn and its an important lesson to learn...wish me luck i'll probably need it..knowing me.. again iron man is smiling wickedly to himself glad i could finally pick up on his logic... he reminds me so much of you dearest ironman..
i want to say so much on the matter of this new guy thing but i know i shouldnt its annoying, i'm biting my tounge constantly grinding my teeth and pushing on with the tea and cake settelmant we kindda came to as so i wont frighten him away.. and to think that i thought i could find solace in my own damn blog but no i'm sirious bout this tea and cake stuff.. i shall make it work.. somehow..

so updating stuff.. hmm... well been to a henry rollins spoken word show!! was really good (was also where i met the guy so cant really go there..
oh i know! my b-day! now that was truelly amazing had the time of my life loads of laughs went round but you had to e there so its not that much to tell.. i am 29.. thats kinnda new..not precisly where i hoped to be ut yeah its been a funny year..

funny year indeed.. read some of my postes from the time i was with the cook.. aguh.. its amazing how perspectives can change.. that was one important lesson in digusting.. i cant say that i cant belive i was actually with him but it does turn my stumec in the worst way posiable reading that stuff.. the way things turned from bad to worst after i ran away.. how much reality was slapped in my face bout where i was and with who i was.. that is one lesson i hope to goddes and goddesess i have learned.. damn but did things turned ugly after i cut him off my money.. ridiculess that might sound but damn true.. really sad truth.. how ugly ppl can turn when you set yourself free of their greedy reach and i do not mean the money ...damn... that is one tale i would really dread sharing with new guy thing.. i would run away from me screaming after that tale...

i must share some items of intrest concerning him in a round about way.. we talked on the phone for hours.. and i do mean hours.. 4 hr the first time 2hr the next day.. alot more the second time we were together.. i know i might be falling for him its spookey.. i know that with all the hardship it can bring: falling for someone like him might bring i would still do it without flinching knowing heart break is just around the corner and still so is an amazing love story and i am after all an optimisic little girl..

i'll sign off for now but i'll keep you avid readers in the loop as much as i can..

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