Sunday, January 21, 2007

well well...
what can i say now that i am wiser to the whole new guy thing situation, i called him we talked for the shortest time till now.. had to ask some hard and heavy questions.. got me some answers, i should be happy as they are not totally bad but i'm not as they were not what i really wanted to hear even though they were honest, he brought up the dreadfull pltonic issue which was in some way scarier than total rejection but i guess he just needs more time to get to know me. maybe if its actually meant to be we would walk together towards some sunset..
right now i at least know where i stand, i know he likes me and is happy that he met me(his words) but he doesnt know if he is ready for a realtionship.. we are still going to see eachother maybe even this week, we are still going to stay in touch and if i'll stop getting ahead of myself and let off the pressure, something might come out of it.. (my words).
the hard bit will of course be for me not to get ahead of myself and settel for what is actually on offer and bite my time, maybe something else will come my way maybe i'll get over this thing and maybe just get my heart broken..
maybe some starnge sort of friendship will come out of it, i'll learn something new and make another step farward towards a better future..
lack of patince was allways one of my vices.. maybe i'll get better at that too..

i'm trying to think if this whole thing would have been easier for me if we hadnt end up in bed on the first night we met, or is it a good thing i at least got a taste of what he is capable of
jury is still out on that one..
i guess i will be fine with it as long as i am not aware of him fancying anyother girl. that would be probably too hard for me to handel right now and also in the near future...
time will tell..
fraustrating Time allways has the last say in these matters.. and as it seems that one thing i have learned from my past that the ones who have been into me from the start have turned out to be no good for me then maybe this will prove to be diffrent.
the knowledge i have of actually wanting something like love and a realtionship, a good healthy realtionship, doesnt necceserly brings the things to your door step in the most obvious ways. the fact that i know something good is going to happen to me can be confusing when you meet ppl who seem to fit the bill when you first meet them..
i have alas no choice but to bite my time and sit back and wait.. damn but i hate that bit but its the one thing i do need to learn.. and so it seems that i will..
with these thoughts i shall sign off and hope for a good productive week.. i do have one great thing i know will happen this week to look forward to.. my new tattoo!!
good night to all and may your dreams and mine come true..

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