Thursday, February 08, 2007

Dear Andy

now after the deed was done and the dust(at least on my side) has setteled, i can look at it and make some conclusions: i am ahead of my time, eaons ahead when it comes to you. for some reason the day we met you jumped out of your shell and were someone you are still not ready to be. ever since then you have been running fast to find your safe zone again. deep inside your shell. no wonder we don't seem to understand each other so well anymore, as i still reacte to that person i met that night and you are no longer there. i don't want to complecate your life anymore then what you have so far, i don't want to impose or ask for things you are not ready to give. i know you won't agree with most of what i have written here and that's ok each to his own: ideas and thoughts alike..
i know i saw alot of potential in you that first time we met and in our time afterwards, i stll see it in you now!
you can disagree: i see things diffrently than you do. i know you have a lot to offer and i know you need your own time and your own speed to share them with the world. i believe that you will find the courage to come out one day and hopefully the reality of life won't slap you in the face straight away but will give you a chance to build some kind of armour to gaurd your sensetive self from the worst of it. i hope that life will treat you well, that you will find your freedome to be yourself and happy with what you are, as after all even though i made a really shitty job at it all i ever wanted for you was to be happy.
hopefully by then you won't be as confused as to why someone you just met might be so intrested in your well being and care about your happiness. in a diffrent place and a diffrent time you might see my coming over unannonced wasn't such a frightning thing to happen and might even be flatterd by it (i know i would have been).
i really do wish you all the best , wish you happiness and joy out of life. maybe one day you'd look me up and we could just laugh about it and maybe you won't. i shall miss you all the same.
good luck to you sweety, and thank you for a truely wonderfull time!

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