i'm looking farwards to going back to TA, new hair cut to show off, friends to see, drinks to be had..
all the things that make a girl happy..
i want to meet up with Rose&Itch, share the whole shocking expiriance with my new friends and get it totally analized by the ppl who have been with me through the whole thing, i know i can trust them to give me insight on the whole thing that i dont see, Itch could give me some male sharp view of the matter and Rose with her silence will then jump in and make the final cut. hard truths are hard to come by these days.. just the other day me and Rose were talking bout all sorts and i was stating that i was about over him, that if he would have stuck around a bit longer he would have broken my heart.. then she goes: are you sure he hadn't? (ouch!) and i think still that he hasnt. then the next day he shows up.. so i am really looking farwards to talking with them, hear some other ppl's wisdome..

its nice to finally have more ppl around to share your life with, till a little while back i was not totally friendless but most of them were away in amstredam or not my friends but my ex's (dragon not cheff aka cook). i kind of miss him now, dragon that is, even had the wild iresponssible notion of giving him a booty call but i know better than that and i wont..
now i'm building up my family of friends i can go to and get my comfort zone and enjoy their company and envy their stable love life and strive to have one of my own.

had a good long chat online with Ironman, he's far away on his travels and we kind of regret not getting something going when we had the chance, remenicing on old times and sharing privet jokes. heart warming and sad at the same time.. he is going through some life changes now and is in some way i gues is looking forwards to going back home to start his life again, and yet there is still 5 more months of travling to be had for him, maybe by the time he gets back he'll get most of his internal change done which might make coming back easier or not.. i envy him at times for the travels and adventures he is going on.. i know he has totally earned them... after five long years study and heart ache he desrves it more than anyone.. i just miss him teribly..

lets wish me a really great week, purim is coming up next weekend.. i am going to be a pirate again, maybe this time i'll also get a better purim party than last year.. another thing to look farwards too.. that and maybe a new drinking buddy if he'll manage not to disapoint me and actually show up.. who knows what else life has instore for me for this week..

with a whole bucket of optimisem i'll sign off till next time..