Saturday, February 24, 2007

its old news but its still bugging me so i'm just going to say more about it: this Andy bullshit is still really anoying me, coming over like that being all vague, not saying anything bout this stuff that has happened. i mean he knows he has an effect on me! i know he is still not willing to comitte to anything and yet its so damn confusing being on the reciving end..
i know i would have liked to take it furthur and if i thought there was half the chance something could actually happen there i would go for it..or know what the hell he's thinking i wont be hanging on air again.
i can only hope that by now he might have read what i wrote him and hopefully not much more than that. after getting access to my entire confused stream of thoughts, it was a risk giving him the adress to this blog but i didnt seem to find any other way to be heard, and now this. i just dont get it anymore, what is the point?
you want something ? you dont want something? just grow up and make up your mind..
dont keep me hanging. by now i could have just let it all go and forgot about it (with time).i know i had this feeling that it wasnt over yet but i was hoping that next time we met there would be some kind of a conclusion.. not more confuison..
i can understand if he is still confused and still in some remote way intrested but damn it..
my boss told him while at my shop(thanks Arik!) that no matter how many women he might meet he will never find another as special as me and he said he knows i am diffrent and unique. but that still dont do me shit unless he would actually do something about it.. i have been strong enough so far not initiating any contact and i am keeping that resolve but damn it! ppl who heard about it were sure he was going to call me up this weekend and that has not happend yet and probably wont happen still.
am i the only one who finds this to be totally fruastrating, or do we at least share that feeling.. me knowing what i want but not willing to make more of a fool of my self over it and him not knowing what to do about it so he does nothing more then that freaky surprise visit..
knowing that he will be in tel aviv every sunday now for his damn course isn't making any better for me either.. i need to get some distarctions from this whoel bullshit situation..
as there is still a good chance i will punch him in the face next time i see him..

No comments: