i guess that when things start to go wrong they just keepp going..
what was sppouse to be a wonderfull thursday turned to shit rather slowly but still painfully... seen a cool ass apartment that i wanted to rent with M, and what i thought was a briliant wonderfully located affordable place was irking her in all manners known to women.. so instead of talking to the landlord about contracts we were talking realtys of renting a place in tel aviv!! oh the horror..
then the concert i bought a ticket for and was later informed that i won another ticket(yey me!!!) which later tempted me to ask Prince Igor to join me to the concert (ney me...), he said yes, and i already planed how i sink my teeth in his white soft flash and make him pay for being a royal prick last week at Barzilay! btw the concert sucked in my books, except meeting an online buddy it was crap.. anyways so he (P.Igor) sms's me he's going to be late being held up in his super important job.. fine. after an hour or so i tell him he better make it up to me real good for making me wait this long for him, he says cool, call me in 45 min. fine. i do so to find his phone is off due to what i found out later as him being in Maxim and no reception there...
now you would think an intelegent woman like me would get the drift of things and fuck off home , but no, not me, going back to Holon at night with my tail between my legs? too proud to do that. so i sit somewhere have tea and hope for a response. go to visit an old co-worker at her work to pass some of the time and the missery of feeling like a total ass by wasting more of my breath talking bout the royal prick. she suggests i go to his place wake his roomie up as i have no place else to go... fun thought! so here goes me walking all the way to his place, trying to figure out on which door to knock on. after figuring that one out and hearing some music from the inside .. running my story on why on earth i'm knocking on her door at 4am!?! i was worried that maybe something has happened to the royal prick, as in why else would you go silent on me like that? my head goes: *someone stole his phone * it broke*no battery* he's been in an accsident god forbid... in that kind of somber mood the door opens and i try to explain myself to the sweet girl infront of me.. who's the one to tell me he's at Maxim. so here i go in to his room take my shoes off and try to sleep of some of the worry and complete lameness of being me at this time..(i didn't even snooped in his draweres..) with the only hope of getting SOME for all my efforts... if i'm at least shaged well it can erase some of my self hate for letting the royal ass do this to me..
and so i wake up to finding him home and without further adue or any kind of forplay i get my pound of flash, rather good one i must say but not enough to keep me company in my walk of shame.. he then goes off for what seems like an hour to the loo.. my guess hoping i'll go away in the meantime.. but no i'm still there when he gets back...(i must add that the first encounter was way more promising , it was intimate and rough and had a considrable amount of talking shit and laughing all the way through... )
so i was expecting more from his Hignes, and as my ex says: "only pilow covers have expectations.. "
so yeah he gets back, turns to me we, cuddle and he insists that he needs to rest before we go at it again.. i sleep really bad having starngely realistic dreams of being rejected by him in my dream over and over again as through the morning/night he turns further and further away in his "sleep"
after a rude awakning to the sound of the chanel 10 news as a ring tone (...) he talks to someone, signs off and goes back to "sleep" i get really iritated, by now you would think i should have been out the door .. (so did part of me, the tied up to a chair gaged in a dark corner..., runing toxic one liners) , having no balls to tell him whats up i smoke another of the too many cigarrets of the night and give it one more go..(damn my weakness and lack of self asteem) he claims not to trust me after bitting him too hard (wuss) earlier and turns off again.. i have no choice but to recreate my balls out of thin air and tell him to go fuck himself in the nicest manner i know of which is truley lame. i get dressesd tell ing him : "you made it, you are officially a total ass!!" and walk off only to notice i left my glasess and have to come back. i did say it was a shitty day right?
so yeah i love my self to bits now... NOT
wish i could wash away my idiotic self off the plannet and wish i had more balls not to do it to myself again. as i hate myself more then him right now.
so then to the only highlight of this day so far, i go get my piercing replaced to a new cool one, pick up a bunch of flower on my way there for my sweetys whot work at my favorite tattoo place in tlv, and before i leave i get my day made totally, when they say thank you for the flowers that i am the only one who does so, and they really appriciate it!! me leave with a great smile on my face...happy at last..
coming home to have a nasty talk with Mother which just made everything better...
so yeah, wish i could erase most of the last 24hr except the tattoo parlour... so i think i'm going to sign off and go sleep as i am afraid the shit is still chasing me round the house no its mobile phone bill... aint life grand... hope for a better day tomorow.